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Author Topic: Making a baby  (Read 2123 times)
Demi Precentor

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Singapore Singapore

Posts: 1,278

我終於知道曲終人散的寂寞 只有傷心人才有

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« on: April 14, 2009, 10:20:06 PM »

The  Smiths  were  unable to conceive children and decided to use a  surrogate father to start their family. On the  day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, 'Well, I'm off  now. The man should be here soon.'

Half  an hour later,  just  by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer happened to ring the  doorbell,  hoping  to make a sale. 'Good morning, Ma'am', he said,  'I've come to...'

'Oh, no need to  explain,'  Mrs.  Smith cut in, embarrassed, 'I've been expecting  you.'

'Have you  really?'  said  the photographer.  'Well,  that's good. Did you know babies are my  speciality?'

'Well that's what my husband and I had hoped. Please  come in and have a seat'
After a moment  she asked, blushing,  'Well,  where do we start?'

'Leave everything to  me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the  couch, and perhaps a couple on the  bed. And sometimes the living room floor is fun. You can really spread out there.'

'Bathtub,  living room floor?  No wonder it didn't work out for Harry and me!' 

'Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time, but if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results.' 

'My, that's a  lot!',  gasped  Mrs. Smith.

'Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to be in and out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that.' 

'Don't I know it,'  said  Mrs. Smith quietly. 

The  photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out  a portfolio of his baby pictures.'This  was done on the top of a bus,' he said. 

'Oh, my word!' Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat. 

'And these twins turned out exceptionally well -  when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with.'

'She was difficult?' asked  Mrs. Smith. 

'Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the  park to get the job done  right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get a good look'

'Four and five  deep?' said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with amazement.

'Yes', the  photographer replied. 'And  for more than three hours, too. The mother was  constantly squealing and yelling  -  I  could hardly concentrate, and  when darkness approached I had to rush my shots.  Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in..' 

Mrs. Smith leaned  forward. 'Do you mean they actually chewed on your, uh...equipment?'

'It's true, Ma'am, yes..  Well, if you're ready, I'll  set-up my tripod and we can get to work right  away.'


'Oh  yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big to be held in the  hand very long.' 
Mrs.  Smith fainted


我終於知道曲終人散的寂寞 只有傷心人才有...
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